peaceandstars.tumblr.com/

i'm still having trouble parting with lj. but tumblr is just so much cooler, besides the no comment option =|
anyways. i'll be there writing. but i'll also be here to lurk. i mean, everyone else is still here.

THIS.IS.LOVE!

- samantha! says:
 less than 3
danieLa  says:
 LOL
 what fort
 **for
- samantha! says:
 lol. for saying that in a note you wrote me during yearbook class lmao
 i was reading all these notes we used to pass each other. hehe. i miss it
danieLa  says:
 OMGHHHHH
 i was doig that today tooo
- samantha! says:
 omghh
danieLa  says:
 i found this one note you wrote to me "daniela is a nut, she has a rubber butt.. and when she turns her butt goes putt putt"
 i miss that tooo!!!
- samantha! says:
 LMAOOO



wow.. we were silly kids back then.

i'm about to take a nap :)
despite this, my window curtains are wide open. in my room, my bed faces the window so as i'm laying down typing this, i can see the amazingly clear blue sky.

the day started very early because of a short exam. hence me taking a nap at 10:30 in the morning.

i was very tempted to stay outdoors and so something. it's just too nice outside today. don't want the day to go to waste. but this week was kind of killer and last night's shift topped it off with a k.o :( i just want to give my body some rest. it's still early anyway.

and my eyes are slowly closing as i type this so i shall leave now.

SamRam
 

Once again, sitting on the bus. I'm excited for math today :) yeah. Sounds a bit lame. But it's the last class of this week, then long weekend, and then exams.
I have nothing too exciting to say at the moment. Just trying to kill time on the bus.
Well i might as well stop this rambling now.

SamRam

I'm sitting in bus 6 waiting to go to square one and then catch the 66 to school.. I picked up some wireless internet from the houses across the street. Who needs a data plan? Heh. Well, my lovely spring allergies have arrived. Hello again! Other than that and this crummy weather, the season started off pretty well. First semester is almost done, so I'm looking forward to catching up with everyone if possible.
Can't wait :)
Anyways. The bus is gonna move any second now. So i'll end here.

Love,
SamRam

i guess it took me a while to realize how crazy we all are.
it's in plain sight. the things we say. the things we do. it's rationally irrational, and vice versa.
but maybe i'm just saying this for comfort. either way, it still makes me sound crazy.

cheers to that.

I'm lying in my bed completely under my covers because i'm so cold. I should be sleeping since i have work in the morning, but i'm typing this out on my iphone and it's getting annoying so this will be short.
I'm sooo cold. And not in the best mood right now. I'm gonna try to be cryptic because i don't know how to make this a friends-only post.
I don't know how she can manage to say such hurtful things sometimes. This is the most bi-polar friendship i've ever had...
Anyways.
Happy Birthday James. I feel like i've said it a million times already. But i hope you feel better.

you know what's weird?

i'm craving that antiobotic medicine that tastes like banana.

i know i've been MIA from livejournal for a while :(
i wonder if anyone noticed though :O

well, here i am sitting at my desk. my curtains are wide open and the sun is lighting up my room.

today is a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL day.
daniela called me during my one hour break between anthro and philosophy and you have no idea how much that lifted my mood. i miss her so much and am so glad i got to hear from her <3
after classes, ran in to rachelle and joanna at the bus stop. and then brendan. i guess this little socializing moment made up for my loneliness in the North building today.

my long weekend begins now. i'm kicking it off pretty well i'd say.
despite having 4 days off, those 4 days aren't empty. work work study study gym study etc. i don't know. it goes something like that.

i'm staring out the window and it's making me so excited. it's gorgeous. it looks like summer.

i feel a dilemma coming that could potentially grow into a big disaster

so, i got a tattoo on monday. and i know people are going to ask me why i got it and what it means because that's what's been going on.
straight up. i couldn't really give a clear answer on what it means yet. but why i got it is because i am sure i wanted one.
i've been thinking about it, and why it is what it is. a peace symbol with two twinkles around it on my left wrist.
the most honest answer i could give right now is that peace and stars are my favourite symbols. and i just know that it's meaning is going to develop as time goes by.

lately i've been reading up on the 'unnattainable' idea of peace. and i found these two quotes.

"when you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live in peace with others." - unknown
&
"peace comes from within. do not seek without" - gautama siddharta

these two quotes really mean something to me because they are addressing self-conflict preventing peace. in my opinion, peace can mean a lot of things. to me, the most important things i associate it with is happiness and unity. thinking back, a lot of the conflicts i dealt with in the past were self-causing. i really did have a bad attitude when i was younger and while growing up. i was unhealthily pessimistic and hated the world. i didn't think anything would change. and i think that was what held me back for so long. believing that it wasn't possible to change or take control of the situations around me. all i can say is that i've come a very long way from that. i owe to many people. and this is where christina and daniela come along. one of the biggest lessons they taught me is to make things happen. they are the two
stars around my peace symbol. and the dots around it are the other people who have/will help me along the way. the peace symbol represents me and how i should always try to find peace within myself and respect and like myself for who i am because there must be something to like about me if i have amazing friends who love me. i just have to find it. i still have to work on my self-esteem.
but this... this just came together like a puzzle.

peace baby.

you have no time.
i have no patience.


stressing about OSAP, stressing about scholarships, stressing about work, stressing about money, stressing about tuition. i don't know how people do it, but because people do, i know it's possible. it's just on my mind right now.
last night i was on the phone with rachelle stressing about picking courses. it's over and done now and i am pretty content with my schedule.

i went to Goetz today to order my high school transcripts. honestly, nothing has changed. it felt so natural walking through the front doors and straight to the guidance office like we often did back then. everything is still where it was. i said i would never miss high school. and for a while i thought i actually was missing it. i know now that i miss the memories made. i got goosebumps when i left the building because that's when i realized how natural it still feels. how it feels like i never really left high school yet. it made me happy and sad at the same time. i wish rachelle was there with me.

the rest of my day consisted of lakeshore and bookstores. up the light house, down the marina. on the swings up high in the sky. sitting by the lake, feet dangling off the edge. this afternoon was free of worries and full of freedom.

i've got one more day until i'm back to work. back to saving money. back to life. but these dilemmas make afternoons like this feel so good.

i finally got proper curtains for my window !! i'm only excited because now i don't have to duck under my window when i need to change.
oh, and i'm moving back to sleeping in my room again. i've invaded the living room for too long and i don't think my dad likes it very much. so i've been trying to clean my room. little progess has been made and i think it's because of a combination of my laziness and exhaustion and lack of time. but it will get done.

anyway !

i am so tired from this weekend. literally ! if i'm not occupied with something i have been falling asleep anywhere. i haven't felt this tired in a long time so i'm going to take advantage of it and sleep well tonight AND wake up early to go to the gym tomorrow morning.

okay? okay. good night.

liselle's is where it's at tonight. i don't thnk it will be the same as the others but it's always good !
so, i'm going to work again. closing. playdium called and asked me to come in early. no thanks! not this time. normally i'd say yes.
sorry. not today. i'm too excited to be all pissed off that i have to close tonight, so that's good.
finally reunited with system of a down. putting them to good use <3
i don't think i make sense right now.
i feel really great though !

currently: sleepy as hell. trying to pick courses. facebook =O. trying to get a hold of tin or james. waiting for midnight becuase then it's payday!

i'm in that place again. uncertainty. it's not bad. it's just, you know... i'm tired of it. i'm just tired. and sleepy. i think it's because things are starting to slow down again. i don't feel sad at all, just... blah. i can't wait for this weekend, and next weekend to be over. i'm so down for a nice long drive around lakeshore/streetsville. at least once before summer ends. and none of that "work the next day" looming over my fun. i've got so many events on my calendar at the very end of summer, it makes me want summer to end sooner. but it's really only just begun for a lot of people. so i'm just going to try to enjoy the next month and a half as much as i can. i actually have quite a lot to do. i'm just busy, lazy, and distracted. and i think i'm more distracted than i am the other two.

i can't really make up my mind. this isn't even making sense to me. i'm going to go listen to music now. and right now, that can either cause mroe confusion for me, or clear things up.

i want ice cream!

after going to the gym on sunday, daniela and i decided to walk to my house from UTM. surprisingly, it wasn't as hard or tiring as i thought it would be, despite the uphill slant going east on dundas. it was fun and refreshing walking by the bridge over the credit river flowing into erindale park. after dropping by my house, we went to her's and did a little bit of skateboarding around the circle until we had to part ways. it was really nice catching up with her this past week. especially after having minimal contact with her for almost three weeks.
around 7 ish, christina came over to my house and james came ten minutes after that. so much for cleaning my room that day. i can't even remember what we did. i just remember the trauma they put me through abandoning me in a shopping cart in the parking lot of the westale plaza. and that was my weekend in a paragraph.

today was the VIP buyout at work and apparently everyone who had something to do with the event had to wear white dress shirt. i, of course did not know >_< and neither did Hana, so she ran across to square one and bought us shirts to wear. she got me an extra small and it fit just fine except that my boobs were literally busting out =O and it was totally see through but i had to deal with it anyway. the event was really nice. there was a live band, and we had to walk around with trays of food. honestly, that is a workout in itself. my arms are killing me right now and all i'm doing is typing. i'm planning to go to the gym in the morning to just release some stress.
OH, i bought my Orientation week package today. i'm so absolutely excited for this shit to go down !! haha.
and i really need to get some things done tomorrow. like order my grade 12 transcripts. never got around to doing that yet. then it's Jerome's elementary graduation get together in the evening. and after that, it's all about work again. i'm half asleep writing this, and i'm supposed to give James a wake up call... i think right now, so this is the end.

oh my gosh. i miss daniela, like soooo much !
yes, the only way i've been getting an update with her is through facebook. and i'm looking through all her pictures, and it's making me smile and laugh and miss her. if i was rich and it didn't take $60 bucks to fill up my tiny car with gas, i would go visit her at work tomorrow. i miss doing that. but can't do that as often anymore.

anyway, as far as this month goes, the excitement came and left so fast. today was a lazy day. i was supposed to wake up at 7 and go to the gym at 8 and then go to goetz and order my grade 12 transcripts. sadly, none of that happened today as i woke up at noon and just bummed around my house the whole day. last night, my zune gave me a huge head ache because i lost over 300 songs. but i successfully downloaded a movie off bittorrent. and i added a clock and calendar application to my zune. it's neat. all my song are on my ipod, but apple won't let me transfer them back to my laptop, obviously. i'm just glad i have all of them saved somewhere so that i can re-download them, because i did forget about half the songs i had. but this will be an on-going process.

err, among other news, i still need to get my OSAP estimate, decide what courses to take before actually enrolling in them by july 2nd, and make as much money as possible between now and september. i much prefer doing that with a new job. i think i have an interview at starbucks on wednesday. i'm not sure yet, i have to check with james. but if i do, i might as well go for it. it's definitely something different from playdium. i hope ! and if i can get transfered to dundas and erin mills, i'd be so much closer to home. we'll see what happens.
i'm sleepy. night.